What do you mean I can't do it ALL at once?!?!

So....yes, I made a New Year's resolution to lose some weight.  I was already on my way after the 'end of the world' binge I went on.  Let's face it......if the world WERE to have really ended on December 21st and I hadn't had an angry whopper, I would have been PISSED.

But it didn't thankfully, and unfortunately the weight gain that came with that 2 week binge has been hanging on.  Why?  Because you can't out-train a bad diet.  I tend to have a personality where it's all or nothing.  When I decide to do something I jump in with both feet.  And as a Virgo...I'm a little type A.  Okay, a lot.  When I fail at something, I don't take it well.  So, when I fail at my diet attempts by eating foods I don't think I should be eating, I get pretty down on myself.  The problem lies in my unrealistic thought that my diet (what I'm eating day in and day out) needs to be perfect.  Um, hello......I love sweets. I LOVE SWEETS.  I've only met one type of chocolate candy I didn't like, and that was because it was one of those boxed candies made from coconut.  YUCK.  But the bottom line is, I'm going to have some of those sweets I love from time to time.  I'm going to partake in Friday family pizza night and donut Saturday.  It won't cause me to instantly gain 5lbs and I will be happier knowing I'm not restricting myself to the point where I feel I can't enjoy time with my family.

At the start of the year I made some goals.

I decided that I: 1. Wanted to lose 10lbs, 2. Wanted super toned arms and legs, 3. Wanted to lose 8% of my body fat, 4. Wanted to be more flexible, 5. Wanted to run a half marathon,  

That's 5 fitness related goals.  I'm fully aware that it's REALLY hard to lose fat AND gain muscle at the same time.  I'm just not sure I wanted to believe it.

After posting a gut wrenching update in my Facebook Get Fit & Don't Quit Challenge group I got a call from a friend this morning.  Maya has been my friend since my junior year of high school.  We played club volleyball together.  That's almost 20 years.  We don't really see each other a lot, but when we're (including my other Front Range girls) all back together, it's like we were never apart.  I love those girls!

We are both moms of 2 kids.  She's also a full time working mom and I feel like having 2 special needs kids is the equivalent of that.

At any rate...Maya has always been real.  And that's sometimes a rare quality in friends.  Every now and then you need someone to step up and tell you like it is.  Good.  Bad. Or ugly.

We had a great conversation about why I might be failing at my attempts to lose this weight.  There are various reasons we chatted about.  Stress, guilt, being busy, not eating enough, etc.  What it came down to is that I need to chill out a bit.  She told me there was no reason I needed to hide in the closet to eat a donut.  Yep.  I did that.  Mainly so SE wouldn't see me eating it and ask for some. :-P  She told me what I mentioned above.  I can eat the things I want to with my family and I shouldn't feel guilty.  I'm working my butt off!

I need to make smaller goals.  Basically look at the small, immediate picture instead of the whole big picture all the time.

No....I can't do it all.  At least not all at the same time.  So I'm going to adjust my expectations and live life.

So let's talk about the guilt.  I have never really experienced mommy guilt, but I hear it's pretty widespread.  Mothers feeling guilty for doing things for themselves instead of spending time with their children.  Um, hello....that alone time is what keeps you from killing them!!

I have a lot to do on a daily basis, but I always make the time to workout.  Working out is my 'me' time.  It's when I get to do something for myself.  Some women get manicures and massages.  I workout.  And nope.  I don't feel a lick of guilt.

 

I look at it as I'm getting the time alone ALL MOMS need.  And I'm being healthy for my boys. 

 

Now, don't get me wrong.  I don't just workout to be healthy.  I wanna look good too! 

 

Another thing Maya and I talked about was the ever present semi secret mom code.  The fact that most mothers feel the need to do everything and be everything for everyone.  It's like it's ingrained into our mommy DNA.  And that can and WILL cause some mommy guilt.

 

 



Well....I'm just going to do what I can, when I can, the best I can.  No more stressing out that everything in my house isn't in place when therapists come over.  Hello...we live here.  And besides that...a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old live here too.  Which means every toy we own must be out and ready to be stepped on at any moment.  No more getting on the scale every. single. morning.  Only once a week.  Like whatever carbs I ate the day before won't be holding onto some water, making me gain that extra 3lbs.  UGH!  No more thinking I need to get another job just so we can have more money.  Although, more money would be nice, I won't be nice if I'm that stressed out.  So I'll stick with my 2-3 classes I teach at the Y, the surveys I take online for $3 a pop and strict budgeting.

FYI...I'm writing as the Grammy's are on.  And LL Cool J is looking mighty good if I don't say so myself. ;-)

So anyway, back to real life.  My baby boy (SE) was sick today, so no potty training.

He was a trooper yesterday.  We had to bribe him with the iPad to get him to sit on the potty for longer than 30sec.  The goal is to get him sitting on the potty then fade the reinforcer (iPad) gradually.  Potty training a child with autism can be a bit different than training a 'typical' child.  It's a process and we will get through it!

He's gonna be mad in 5 years when he knows that there's a photo on the Internet of him on the potty. LOL!  Daddy was there for moral support.  And notice the toys and Reese's bars up on the shelf for incentive! :)

Yesterday I ran...hello...NINE miles.  9!!!!  Yeah baby!  That's the longest I've EVER ran in my life.  Ever.

Please excuse the time out bench and frumpy dumpy running shirt.

Okay...I've missed yoga for the past 2 weeks.  Ick.  So here's the deal, we have Amazon Prime Instant Video and I was looking through some yoga DVDs to do today.  I found a couple, even one for kids!!  SE and C were NOT into it today though, but they'll get there.....I hope.  LOL.  Also...surprisingly there were nude yoga videos.  NUDE?!?!?!  W...T...F?!?!?!  On Amazon??  That kids can access?  That's NO bueno.

At any rate.....I did a great 45 min video.  I never in a million years thought I would love yoga as much as I do.  It's awesome.  It's not so much the physical nature of the practice, but the mental work I get done on the mat.  I think that's a real reason I've been so stressed and frazzled over the last couple weeks...no yoga.  I'll never let that happen again.  Especially now that I have the videos on my iPad!  Here's some of my living room yoga.  Thank goodness we did away with coffee tables!  I have the space I need to roll my mat out and get to work!

So if you've ever taken a yoga class before there is usually a meditative portion at the end.  I savor that part.  Helps me focus on what I've just done.  Now, after watching me do yoga in the living room for 40 min from the kitchen, both boys were antsy to come down to see me.  Wait....see me?  No, see the iPad.  But that wasn't happening.  So SE decided to "help" me meditate.

Supermama Rosie can meditate with an almost 4 year old laying across her lap.  Yoga BAMF.  Fo sheezy.

Alright ya'll.  I'm out.  Check ya tomorrow...

love,

Supermama rosie